Cargo Pants Confessional

squibble asked: If there were confessionals on Lost, I bet there would be a ton of talk about Kate, because she's a whore.

In CHSH news, I should be there. Provided there is rum there.

1 note

Anonymous asked: I'm AIDsy.

saidme asked: Um. I am fat and everyone will hate me and I have ugly fingernails and everyone will hate me and I am not interesting or smart and everyone will hate me and I never know what drink to order, so again, everyone will hate me. Also, fashion don't. But, I did that cute robot with the lollipop drawing and maybe I'm not that bad. PEOPLE, JUST REMEMBER THE ROBOT DRAWING.

alinasmith asked: I feel like maybe I'm kind of a better person than those who aren't coming. It's true. Y'all suck.

Now, where's that "anonymous" button?

3 notes

faneffingtastic asked: Sometimes at night, when I'm laying in my bed, I wonder about just how much wood a woodchuck could chuck. If only the poor woodchuck had some wood.

Then I eat another reese's cup and sob into my pillow because I am just *that* awesome.

2 notes

monkeytonenews asked: Dear Dr. Mr. Cargo Pants
What happens when I meet someone that I follow, but who doesn't follow me?
WIll it be awkward?
Should I just avoid those people?
Should I just act all fabulous and funny so they feel like they have been missing out?
Should I put on my denim and faux shearling jacket and act like the tough girl on the play ground and "call them down?"

Yes.

gdub asked: Where the crap am I going to park my F150? Should've done the plane thing.

1 note

essdogg asked: I wish that Indefensible was coming so that I could see if the awesomeness oozing from his pores smells more like Drakkar or Axe Body Spray. Also, so we could talk politics.

indefensible asked: I wish I was coming because then my confession would be OH MY GOD WILL THESE PEOPLE BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH HOW FUCKING AWESOME I AM IN REAL LIFE? Then people would think I was a dick even more than they do now and when I turn out to be like a cool dude who helps little old ladies across the street and such then they would love me even more than ever thought possible.
PEACE OUT

Anonymous asked: I'm not nervous about meeting Internet people (I've done it many times already), but I am nervous about meeting Internet people who for some reason dislike me. Any tips?